bella
I don’t know how to start this, it’s not something I planned to write today so I’m just going to write and share as much as I can and see where it goes … as always I hope being honest will help people.
I spend a week in bed with a stomach virus so I was just getting back on my feet physically, it was a tough week I had been working really hard to gain some muscle weight to get stronger I ended up losing a lot of weight which got me down a little.
I feel like I’ve become a really strong person, iv been through a lot and came out fighting so it makes me think I can handle anything.
Despite being physically sick I was in a really positive headspace excited to get back to my normal week but it’s amazing how a person’s words and actions can have such an effect on you.
As I’m writing this I don’t even have the right words to explain.
I woke up this morning for my first day back in the world post-illness and I never left my bed. I just couldn’t do it.
People through words around and don’t realize or care about the impact they have. I came to a point last night where I just thought “I really don’t wanna be here” Its a very harsh though but a real one, I was so hurt by a person’s actions and words that this harsh though that come to me brought calm.
I’m by no means perfect i make mistakes and say the wrong things all the time I’m human we all are but there are ways to address it.
I hope to get up tomorrow but for now, sitting up to write this is it. That’s the reality, which is why I feel writing this in the moment is the best way.
This writing thing is therapeutic for me, what I hope people take from it is to be kind, think about your words and actions and what they mean for others.