4 am 27/08/22

Hi all, Welcome back to my blog, I hope you’re keeping well, it’s been a long time since I sat down and wrote something and I’m not sure where to start but it’s 4 am I can’t sleep yesterday was really hard and this always helps clear my head.

Today would have been my dad’s 73rd birthday, I lost him on the 16th July 22, and I had a lot of distractions around that time that helped keep me from drowning, people don’t realise the smallest gesture or communication can be so big when you feel like you’re dying yourself and I really appreciate it, it keeps me from drowning at that moment.

I Lost my person

He was the one I needed because he got me, he was the calm, the peacemaker, the protector and my golf partner. I’ve been dreading this day for so long, in the last two days I’ve been trying so hard to do everything but think about it but today i just feel like I’ve had the stuffing kicked out of me, I’d give anything to be with him right now. Thats what grief does.

I’ve been holding on to every little thing to keep my mind in a better place but today im lost. My dad was the best person I’ve ever know, he saw the best in everyone and that’s why i do and im grateful.