Evolving…
I started with a goal in mind… I had a passion and vision of what I wanted to accomplish, I thought of nothing else….. I had a plan in my head. I went for it.
Then I started questioning myself…..
If you’re not shouting it from the rooftops people will assume you don’t really want it …. you’re not committed……
So you question yourself ” does it mean I don’t really want it ?” “Is there a way you’re meant to act?”
My vision/plan got fussy… the assumption that I wasn’t committed made me question myself… “Is that true?’ ” If that’s true… why am I here?” I couldn’t see my goal anymore but I keep trying to push forward even with all these assumptions in my head cause deep down I knew it was there, I know who I am, I just got distracted by what some might think they know of me and started to believe it… The negative overshadowed the many positives.. and I started to move in slow motion.
I need to go back to the beginning…
I’ve had so much time to sit and think…to feel defeated and afraid… of what may or may not happen.
The possibility of spending months or years in a hospital bed…… to sit and imagine what that would feel like… I know what real regret feels like… It might be all over and I never even gave myself a chance
I’m known for saying I’m not a lucky person… but this time I got really lucky when I needed it the most.
I need to go back to the beginning…