A piece of me
I spent so many years being controlled by my mental health issues.The negative thoughts that creep into your mind, the devil on your shoulder, the crippling anxiety.
The voice in your head telling you, your not good enough, you don’t have worth, you can’t do anything, it causes you to freeze it gains control of you. Your mind is a lonely place to be trapped. Always thinking ” its just you” ” it’s how your programmed”. This is just how you are.
The best thing I ever did was go to my doctor any say ” I’m not ok”. I didn’t know what else to say, I didn’t know how to explain it. I didn’t have a physical injury but I was hurting. I wasn’t ok and I couldn’t keep living like this, I wasn’t living I was just existing and every day was painful.
That was the first time I really took control.Becoming aware of my illness and getting the right treatment was a weight off my shoulders. It wasn’t just ME. I can get thru this, I can get better.I was finally on the right track.
I’m not gonna say it was easy or a quick fix cause it wasn’t, it was long and hard, there were days when I didn’t get out of bed, I had to fight really hard to get to the point I’m at.
The stigma around mental health issues prevents people from seeking help, it’s really wrong. it leaves people to suffer in silence which is heartbreaking. Mental illness is an illness like any other and there nothing to be ashamed of.
I can honestly say the day I excepted my illness and who I am, I’ve never felt stronger and more in control. I fought hard to get better and I fight every day to maintain my mental health. I’m proud of what iv gone through and how far I’ve come. I’m comfortable in my own skin and proud of who I am.
Thank you so much for reading my blog, I want to be open about my struggle in the hopes i could help somebody suffering. xxPaulaxx
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